It’s winter in Michigan. The wild temperature swings have left us with an inch or two of snow on the ground and tons of ice on most of the sidewalks, parking lots, and back roads. Apparently, the side roads are bad enough that today became SNOW DAY NUMBER TWO. As much as I love The Kids, having them home really put a damper on my plans for what should have been a day off in the house by myself. First off, they hate watching People’s Court and Judge Judy, so my daytime TV game was already shot. Second, they seem to want to be fed. Regularly. If it isn’t breakfast, it’s lunch. In between my stints as short-order cook, I tried to occupy them by telling them to go do some homework. Of course, they didn’t have any. I think I need to head into the school (whenever they finally reopen) and discuss the need for more rote memorization, times tables, workbook pages, and handwriting on that ugly gray-brown construction paper with the dotted lines on it. You know who DID have homework? Mr. “I should Take Grad Classes…It Will Be Fun”. Yeah, I have another research paper due. It’s not the paper that stresses me so much as the “research”. Apparently college professors STILL don’t like when you just make stuff up. So I finally gave the green light on video games. They quickly disappeared into the basement and would have happily stayed there for days playing “Fart Attack” on Xbox. I swear, that’s a real thing - and they love it. Anyhow, by that point I was pretty well distracted and repeatedly got sidetracked from my super-exciting paper on sexual harassment in the workplace (spoiler: sexual harassment is bad, even if you are both the same gender). The next thing I knew I was cruising all the same internet haunts for a bike to ride this summer. As of today, I only have 182 days until I start my three-day, 300 mile, ride to help raise money for Make-A-Wish Michigan. The Wish-A-Mile (or WAM, as the hip kids seem to call it) is fast approaching! Normally, I am what some would call a procrastinator. The Wife likes to point out that I had to literally drive across the state to apply for the police academy because I waited until the day the application was due. I tend to put off projects until the last second because I think I work best under pressure. I don’t, by the way. I just work faster under pressure. But it works for me. And If there is anything I WON’T procrastinate on, it is buying new toys. So with (most of) this week’s reading done for my project, I set off to check Craigslist, LetGo, Facebook Marketplace, and pretty much any other reputable and less-than-reputable place I could think of for a decent bike to ride. At this point, I was considering simply buying a set of thin tires and wheels to put on my 15-year-old Trek mountain bike and calling it good. But there she was… I had seen her a few days before. She was still available and calling my name. Pretty much the model I had been looking for, but used. And far away. I am normally super picky and like the newest, coolest, toys. But then I remembered that I am 41 years old, and I’m SUPER awesome. So how bad could a one-year-old bike be? Allegedly, she was a floor model from last year at the bike store. I am told she has seen little use. I was half expecting the guy on the phone to tell me that she had only been ridden to and from church on Sundays by a little old lady. But he simply described her as “like new”. So I decided that this is my bike. To make things interesting, the bike store I found her at is located in Milwaukee. Alice Cooper taught me that Milwaukee is Algonquin for “The Good Land”, so I figure buying a bike from there MUST be a good idea. Anyhow, I have to give a shoutout to Keegan and the guys at https://www.benscycle.com/ . When I called about the bike, I explained that I was looking for something for a charity ride and Keegan showed a little love with the price. Now, as much as I'd love to share a pic of this beauty, I think it's a little like a bride and a wedding dress. I feel like it would be bad luck to show her off before the big day. Or at least before she shows up in a box and I know she's real. just like a bride. So after rattling off my credit card number over the phone to a stranger I’d met on the internet (what could go wrong?), I was told that they will box up my dream bike and ship her to me. I should see her in the next few days. I’m pretty sure she will arrive next week about the same time as the storm which is predicted to bring 3-6” of fresh snow. Can’t wait to test her winter abilities. I am super excited to FINALLY have a bike. I can’t wait to start getting some practice rides in and see what this road bike, “drop handlebars”, and spandex craze is all about. But mostly I can’t wait to take part in the WAM this July. Now that I have the bike, I am one step closer to completing the mission. But to truly achieve my goal, I need YOU to help me out. Please consider donating to Make-A-Wish Michigan and sponsoring my ride. Make-A-Wish helps to grant the wishes of critically ill children and their families. To donate, please click here. I’ll update you all when the bike comes. Until then, I think I’m off to buy some spandex.
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