Shortly after getting married, I learned that one of the things that adults do is to send a Christmas letter each year. As many of my other friends became adults -, and my network of adult friends, co-workers, and relatives grew - I began to see a lot of Christmas cards. I noticed that some people spiced it up by enclosing a little letter or some notes about their past year. I thought I should give this a shot, but I knew my limits. I suck at brevity. And we didn't have a lot to share that anybody would really care about. So I let the dog help me out. In 2005, we sent out our first Christmas card with a letter, from Beaumont. The Saint Bernard.
2006
I'm not sure if anybody actually enjoyed the letter, but I decided that if it worked once, I should try it again...
2007
Third time's the charm, right?
2008
At this point, Christmas letters from the dog have become a thing. I am now that guy. Not only are we sending out a super long letter about our family each year, but it is written by a dog with an ever-worsening attitude.
2009
Big changes are afoot. Beaumont does not appreciate the addition of human lives to the Maguire household.
2010
Beaumont talks marathon training and the use of performance-enhancing drugs by his German Shepherd housemate.
2011
A big year with broken bones and the worst thing ever: moving.
2012
With baby #2 arriving, Beaumont is officially ready to move out.
2013
New Dog, new mower, new camper.
2014
So apparently we have lost the actual 2014 letter, but I was able to find the "first draft". I should probably point out the process of our Maguire Christmas letter. The first half of December is spent with The Wife telling me that the letter needs to get written. When Christmas is about 10 days out, she really cranks up the pressure. I claim to have writer's block and "not really feel it this year". Eventually, one night after everybody has gone to bed, Beaumont and I would sit down with a beer or two and crank out the letter. The next day, The Wife wakes up to find my missive and edits severely in order to get it to fit onto one piece of paper.
2014 was tough because it was the year my mother passed away. I am pretty sure that the version of the letter which was mailed was probably a little less blunt, but I think Mom would've appreciated Beaumont's approach. Here is the original version.
2014 was tough because it was the year my mother passed away. I am pretty sure that the version of the letter which was mailed was probably a little less blunt, but I think Mom would've appreciated Beaumont's approach. Here is the original version.
2015
Beaumont ponders old age. My K9 career ends while The Wife's career is taking off.
AND THAT WAS IT...
Unfortunately, 2015 would be Beaumont's last letter. In July of 2016, he passed away at 12 1/2 years old. Which is like 157 in St. Bernard years. It just seemed weird to do a Christmas card or letter that year. The fact that it seemed weird NOT to send a letter written by the dog probably says a lot about our family.
This year (2017) we were going to at least do a card. The Wife even made one online and was going to have it printed. But then the website wouldn't upload her photo, everything looked distorted, and well... we just got lazy. But next year, for sure, we will get back into the Xmas Card game. Maybe.
For now, here is what SHOULD HAVE BEEN our card this year:
This year (2017) we were going to at least do a card. The Wife even made one online and was going to have it printed. But then the website wouldn't upload her photo, everything looked distorted, and well... we just got lazy. But next year, for sure, we will get back into the Xmas Card game. Maybe.
For now, here is what SHOULD HAVE BEEN our card this year:
2018... A letter written by a person?
Hattie decided that we needed to get back into the whole Christmas Card game this year. So I took the reins and tried to make Beaumont proud. Hattie pointed out that somebody else needs to write our letter, because I am not as "cutting" (read: rudely blunt) as Beaumont always was. I think she is just making an excuse for us to get a new dog. Anyhow, below is the 2018 Maguire card and letter.
Merry Christmas!
So in the Maguire house, we are always learning. In the last few years we learned why you don’t choose to have your St. Bernard write the Christmas letter. While they may be a genuine wordsmith, they probably aren’t going to be there for you much more than ten years. Sadly, after many years with some great dogs, the Maguire home is fur-free. Not true. We are dog free. I still occasionally find fur in places. It’s incredible. However, there is a growing movement in our house (led by Hattie) to bring a new four-legged monster into our lives. We promised Charlie he could get a dog when he turns ten. Clearly, we didn’t realize how fast time flies. So now I have a few short months to come up with excuses. In the last couple years, we have painted most of the house. We’ve replaced the carpet and furniture. Now that we have things finally looking halfway nice, Hattie and the kids have decided to ruin all of it with a dog. Stay tuned next year to see if the annual letter has a new author.
Like all of you, we have been extremely busy this year. We kicked off the year by experimenting with our own B&B. My dad, Smiling Tom, spent a few weeks with us when he was not feeling so hot. He brought his dog Spats along and we all had fun spending lots of extra time with Grandpa. Apparently, the amenities and service are subpar, because as soon as he was feeling better, my dad headed back home. I’m pretty sure he is the ‘anonymous’ person who left a yelp review calling our place “not bad if you are into 6 a.m. wake up calls conducted by screaming children, nosey innkeepers, and a housekeeping staff which has been on strike for months”. Meanwhile, I am now addicted to Bluebloods.
Just about the time my dad left, Hattie caught up to me in my old age. She is now 40. To be fair, she doesn’t look a day over 38. Thankfully, her youthful personality and incessant desire to be always moving has done a great job keeping us both young. Whether it is running, or going to the gym, or planning family adventures around the globe, her youthful drive is either going to see us into a long blissful life together…or see me into a home by the age of 50.
Speaking of active, Hattie planned perhaps the most active staycation ever this year. For spring break, we (she) decided we would save some money and stay home for the week. Since we were home, it only made sense that we repaint as much of the house as possible. And if we are repainting, we might as well redecorate the kids’ bathroom. And the foyer. And the office. Staying home cost us more than it would have cost to take the kids to Barbados for a month. We will never stay home again. Unless of course we get a dog. Then we won’t be able to go anyplace nice for spring break, because we will have to take the dog with.
A cold March brought us Kid Birthday Month. Charlie turned 9 and Molly turned 6. In terms of sarcasm, I would say they are 19 and 26, respectively. They clearly get that from their mom. Charlie had a sleepover with 9 boys. Nobody slept. Molly went to the movies with “The Crew”, or her group of besties which she has known since preschool. Hattie has since decided that she is going to convince the kids that they can take a year off from birthday parties next year. I’ve decided to gamble our retirement on a Lions Stanley Cup win. I think my odds are better.
As May rolled around and the snow began to melt, we got sucked once again into the world of youth sports. Molly played softball. Well, she was on a softball team with her friends. Hattie coached. Because she can never just be a passive spectator. They were the cutest ones on the softball field, which more than made up for any lack of skills. But we are learning and getting better. Charlie played kid pitch baseball this year. I though they should really call the first year of kid pitch “kid hit” baseball, but the league disagreed. They didn’t appreciate my ideas for some killer t-shirts. He did well, but Mom and Dad aren’t all that impressed with the “super exciting” pace of youth baseball. Some parents are even hoping that interest in baseball wanes by next year. Since the kids were getting all active and sporty, Hattie and I decided to join in on the fun. We ran the Bayshore half-marathon on Memorial Day weekend. This was a great opportunity for us to get up to Traverse City and camp with a bunch of other families who we love to camp with. Added bonus? Running 13.1 miles on a Saturday morning. The weather was beautiful all weekend. The running? Not so hot. Some of us, may not have “trained” as some runners suggest you should and were “challenged” by the hilly start. But we both finished and had fun. Of course this was not our first trip in the camper since we had kicked off the camping season on Mother’s Day with a SUPER rainy outing with several other families.
Let’s talk camping. You may have followed #thosetruckinmaguires this summer as they hit the road to many different locations. From early May to late October, we snuck in 31 nights of camping. Most notably, we took two weeks to hit all five Great Lakes. After thorough research, we decided that there are THREE Great Lakes and two Pretty Okay Lakes. Highlights included swimming in Tahquamenon Falls, taking the train into Toronto, and ending our trip in a site at the base of Cedar Point’s newest (SUPER LOUD) roller coaster. From very remote to incredibly urban, we stayed in some great places. Hattie collected sand from all five lakes while Molly collected pretty much every small rock she saw everywhere. There were many other fun trips with friends, but the most surprising had to be Hocking Hills. We were shocked to learn that Ohio has beautiful waterfalls, hiking trails, and places that don’t look like Ohio. We highly recommend a trip there.
In June, Hattie ran the Salem Elementary 5k. Like actually RAN it, as in organized and planned the whole thing. Because why just show up to run a 5k when you can spend months taking care of every detail? It turned out great. It was also about the time when I decided to try this whole “fitness lifestyle”. Hattie convinced me to try out this new gym she and her teacher friends were going to. Somehow, I got addicted to going three times a week, eating healthier, and giving up pop. I barely even know myself anymore. I would say it feels great, but in reality, I am hungry ALL THE TIME. In order to keep from having to buy newer, smaller clothes, I wisely learned to offset gains from healthy eating by drinking beer. I’ve become that annoying guy that talks about the gym all the time, but I swear it isn’t Crossfit.
After lots more camping, and another successful badminton tourney where Hattie and I lost in the first round, it was back to school. Hattie began a new program at her school called “Incubator”. In this Shark Tank style class, she works with students who develop new products, design them, and then learn how to market and produce them. While it has been a lot of work, she has had a lot of fun doing something new and exciting. Also in the fall, she got to nerd out in Texas at a national teacher conference with all of her online friends she has met over the last few years. (Editor’s Note: After multiple attempts at the previous sentence, that was the most flattering description I could come up with.) She presented several times at the National Council of Teachers of English to show others from around the country what she is doing in her classroom. I stayed home with the kids and relied heavily upon Grandma and Grandpa T to help keep the kids alive and on time for school.
New fall activities included a theater class for Molly. She loved working with other kids to develop and put on a play modeled after The Incredibles. She got to play the lead villain and cannot wait to take another theater class. Like her dad, it seems she may be more thespian than athlete at this point. Charlie began travel basketball. I swore I would not let my kids into travel sports. Yet here we are at age 9. He seems to have a great coach and team. We don’t think we have seen him smile as big as when he got his jersey this week. Wait till I give him the bill.
Fall also included more great camping. There was Halloween camping with lots of friends. The kids dressed up. Charlie was Lebron James. This brought us to that wonderful learning moment where every parent gets to explain to their child why blackface is not cool. Molly dressed as Scat Woman. Her homemade outfit (I’m not sure why Target doesn’t sell Scat Woman) consisted of lots of brown and a toilet plunger. She won. We also went camping for the Michigan vs. MSU game weekend. The weather was slightly worse than MSU’s performance. But we had a lot of fun and met up with Aunt Greta and Grandma who hiked 20 miles to meet us. I promised to install the Uber app on Grandma’s phone. It should be noted that, overall, the weather on most Maguire camping trips was actually phenomenal this season. So on our last trip, we tempted fate by going for a family hike in the woods. It ended with us sprinting a mile back to the campsite in a hail storm. Sometimes you just gotta remember your roots.
All in all, it has been another awesome year for Team Maguire. Whether it was camping, or sports, or just hanging around South Lyon, we were blessed to be able to spend the year with wonderful family and friends who all make our lives so much fun. We can’t wait to do it all, and more, with you all again next year. Of course, we might have to bring a stupid dog with us.
Seasons Greetings,
Team Maguire
So in the Maguire house, we are always learning. In the last few years we learned why you don’t choose to have your St. Bernard write the Christmas letter. While they may be a genuine wordsmith, they probably aren’t going to be there for you much more than ten years. Sadly, after many years with some great dogs, the Maguire home is fur-free. Not true. We are dog free. I still occasionally find fur in places. It’s incredible. However, there is a growing movement in our house (led by Hattie) to bring a new four-legged monster into our lives. We promised Charlie he could get a dog when he turns ten. Clearly, we didn’t realize how fast time flies. So now I have a few short months to come up with excuses. In the last couple years, we have painted most of the house. We’ve replaced the carpet and furniture. Now that we have things finally looking halfway nice, Hattie and the kids have decided to ruin all of it with a dog. Stay tuned next year to see if the annual letter has a new author.
Like all of you, we have been extremely busy this year. We kicked off the year by experimenting with our own B&B. My dad, Smiling Tom, spent a few weeks with us when he was not feeling so hot. He brought his dog Spats along and we all had fun spending lots of extra time with Grandpa. Apparently, the amenities and service are subpar, because as soon as he was feeling better, my dad headed back home. I’m pretty sure he is the ‘anonymous’ person who left a yelp review calling our place “not bad if you are into 6 a.m. wake up calls conducted by screaming children, nosey innkeepers, and a housekeeping staff which has been on strike for months”. Meanwhile, I am now addicted to Bluebloods.
Just about the time my dad left, Hattie caught up to me in my old age. She is now 40. To be fair, she doesn’t look a day over 38. Thankfully, her youthful personality and incessant desire to be always moving has done a great job keeping us both young. Whether it is running, or going to the gym, or planning family adventures around the globe, her youthful drive is either going to see us into a long blissful life together…or see me into a home by the age of 50.
Speaking of active, Hattie planned perhaps the most active staycation ever this year. For spring break, we (she) decided we would save some money and stay home for the week. Since we were home, it only made sense that we repaint as much of the house as possible. And if we are repainting, we might as well redecorate the kids’ bathroom. And the foyer. And the office. Staying home cost us more than it would have cost to take the kids to Barbados for a month. We will never stay home again. Unless of course we get a dog. Then we won’t be able to go anyplace nice for spring break, because we will have to take the dog with.
A cold March brought us Kid Birthday Month. Charlie turned 9 and Molly turned 6. In terms of sarcasm, I would say they are 19 and 26, respectively. They clearly get that from their mom. Charlie had a sleepover with 9 boys. Nobody slept. Molly went to the movies with “The Crew”, or her group of besties which she has known since preschool. Hattie has since decided that she is going to convince the kids that they can take a year off from birthday parties next year. I’ve decided to gamble our retirement on a Lions Stanley Cup win. I think my odds are better.
As May rolled around and the snow began to melt, we got sucked once again into the world of youth sports. Molly played softball. Well, she was on a softball team with her friends. Hattie coached. Because she can never just be a passive spectator. They were the cutest ones on the softball field, which more than made up for any lack of skills. But we are learning and getting better. Charlie played kid pitch baseball this year. I though they should really call the first year of kid pitch “kid hit” baseball, but the league disagreed. They didn’t appreciate my ideas for some killer t-shirts. He did well, but Mom and Dad aren’t all that impressed with the “super exciting” pace of youth baseball. Some parents are even hoping that interest in baseball wanes by next year. Since the kids were getting all active and sporty, Hattie and I decided to join in on the fun. We ran the Bayshore half-marathon on Memorial Day weekend. This was a great opportunity for us to get up to Traverse City and camp with a bunch of other families who we love to camp with. Added bonus? Running 13.1 miles on a Saturday morning. The weather was beautiful all weekend. The running? Not so hot. Some of us, may not have “trained” as some runners suggest you should and were “challenged” by the hilly start. But we both finished and had fun. Of course this was not our first trip in the camper since we had kicked off the camping season on Mother’s Day with a SUPER rainy outing with several other families.
Let’s talk camping. You may have followed #thosetruckinmaguires this summer as they hit the road to many different locations. From early May to late October, we snuck in 31 nights of camping. Most notably, we took two weeks to hit all five Great Lakes. After thorough research, we decided that there are THREE Great Lakes and two Pretty Okay Lakes. Highlights included swimming in Tahquamenon Falls, taking the train into Toronto, and ending our trip in a site at the base of Cedar Point’s newest (SUPER LOUD) roller coaster. From very remote to incredibly urban, we stayed in some great places. Hattie collected sand from all five lakes while Molly collected pretty much every small rock she saw everywhere. There were many other fun trips with friends, but the most surprising had to be Hocking Hills. We were shocked to learn that Ohio has beautiful waterfalls, hiking trails, and places that don’t look like Ohio. We highly recommend a trip there.
In June, Hattie ran the Salem Elementary 5k. Like actually RAN it, as in organized and planned the whole thing. Because why just show up to run a 5k when you can spend months taking care of every detail? It turned out great. It was also about the time when I decided to try this whole “fitness lifestyle”. Hattie convinced me to try out this new gym she and her teacher friends were going to. Somehow, I got addicted to going three times a week, eating healthier, and giving up pop. I barely even know myself anymore. I would say it feels great, but in reality, I am hungry ALL THE TIME. In order to keep from having to buy newer, smaller clothes, I wisely learned to offset gains from healthy eating by drinking beer. I’ve become that annoying guy that talks about the gym all the time, but I swear it isn’t Crossfit.
After lots more camping, and another successful badminton tourney where Hattie and I lost in the first round, it was back to school. Hattie began a new program at her school called “Incubator”. In this Shark Tank style class, she works with students who develop new products, design them, and then learn how to market and produce them. While it has been a lot of work, she has had a lot of fun doing something new and exciting. Also in the fall, she got to nerd out in Texas at a national teacher conference with all of her online friends she has met over the last few years. (Editor’s Note: After multiple attempts at the previous sentence, that was the most flattering description I could come up with.) She presented several times at the National Council of Teachers of English to show others from around the country what she is doing in her classroom. I stayed home with the kids and relied heavily upon Grandma and Grandpa T to help keep the kids alive and on time for school.
New fall activities included a theater class for Molly. She loved working with other kids to develop and put on a play modeled after The Incredibles. She got to play the lead villain and cannot wait to take another theater class. Like her dad, it seems she may be more thespian than athlete at this point. Charlie began travel basketball. I swore I would not let my kids into travel sports. Yet here we are at age 9. He seems to have a great coach and team. We don’t think we have seen him smile as big as when he got his jersey this week. Wait till I give him the bill.
Fall also included more great camping. There was Halloween camping with lots of friends. The kids dressed up. Charlie was Lebron James. This brought us to that wonderful learning moment where every parent gets to explain to their child why blackface is not cool. Molly dressed as Scat Woman. Her homemade outfit (I’m not sure why Target doesn’t sell Scat Woman) consisted of lots of brown and a toilet plunger. She won. We also went camping for the Michigan vs. MSU game weekend. The weather was slightly worse than MSU’s performance. But we had a lot of fun and met up with Aunt Greta and Grandma who hiked 20 miles to meet us. I promised to install the Uber app on Grandma’s phone. It should be noted that, overall, the weather on most Maguire camping trips was actually phenomenal this season. So on our last trip, we tempted fate by going for a family hike in the woods. It ended with us sprinting a mile back to the campsite in a hail storm. Sometimes you just gotta remember your roots.
All in all, it has been another awesome year for Team Maguire. Whether it was camping, or sports, or just hanging around South Lyon, we were blessed to be able to spend the year with wonderful family and friends who all make our lives so much fun. We can’t wait to do it all, and more, with you all again next year. Of course, we might have to bring a stupid dog with us.
Seasons Greetings,
Team Maguire